The History of Child Abuse Lloyd deMause The Journal of Psychohistory (abridged version)

The History of Child Abuse Lloyd deMause The Journal of Psychohistory
The History of Child Abuse

Lloyd deMause
The Journal of Psychohistory V. 25, N. 3, Winter 1998

The following speech was given at the National Parenting Conference in Boulder, Colorado, on September 25, 1997.

It also appears in Sexual Addicitons & Compulsivity V 1 n1 1994

(posted with permission)

describes crimes of abuse

During the past three decades, I have spent much of my scholarly life examining primary sources such as diaries, autobiographies, doctor’s reports, ethnographic reports and other documents that document what it must have felt like to have been a child – yesterday and today, in the East and the West, in literate and preliterate cultures.

In several hundred studies published by myself and my associates in The Journal of Psychohistory, we have provided extensive evidence that the history of childhood has been a nightmare from which we have only recently begun to awaken. The further back in history one goes – and the further away from the West one gets – the more massive the neglect and cruelty one finds and the more likely children are to have been killed, rejected, beaten, terrorized and sexually abused by their caretakers.

Indeed, my conclusion from a lifetime of psychohistorical study of childhood and society is that the history of humanity is founded upon the abuse of children. Just as family therapists today find that child abuse often functions to hold families together as a way of solving their emotional problems, so, too, the routine assault of children has been society’s most effective way of maintaining its collective emotional homeostasis. Most historical families once practiced infanticide, erotic beating and incest. Most states sacrificed and mutilated their children to relieve the guilt of adults. Even today, we continue to arrange the daily killing, maiming, molestation and starvation of children through our social, military and economic activities. I would like to summarize here some of the evidence I have found as to why child abuse has been humanity’s most powerful and most successful ritual, why it has been the cause of war and social violence, and why the eradication of child abuse and neglect is the most important social task we face today.

THE CHILD AS POISON CONTAINER

The main psychological mechanism that operates in all child abuse involves using children as what I have termed poison containers – receptacles into which adults project disowned parts of their psyches, so they can control these feelings in another body without danger to themselves. In good parenting, the child uses the caretaker as a poison container, much as it earlier used the mother’s placenta as a poison container for cleansing its polluted blood. A good mother reacts with calming actions to the cries of a baby and helps it “detoxify” its dangerous emotions. But when an immature mother’s baby cries, she cannot stand the screaming, and strikes out at the child. As one battering mother put it, “I have never felt loved all my life. When the baby was born, I thought he would love me. When he cried, it meant he didn’t love me. So I hit him.” Rather than the child being able to use the parent to detoxify its fears and anger, the parent instead injects his or her bad feelings into the child and uses it to cleanse his or herself of depression and anger.

Consider a typical infanticidal, incestuous culture, the Bimin-Kuskusmin of New Guinea. As is so often true in pre-literate cultures, the mothers have long post-partum taboos against sex with their husbands, sleep naked against their children until they are about four years old, have orgasms while nursing them and regularly masturbate them. One three-year-old boy describes how whenever his mother was sad or angry she masturbated him so roughly that it hurt him, and he struggled to get away, complaining of a pain in his penis. “It hurts inside,” he told the ethnologist. “It goes Ôkoong, koong, koong’ inside. I think it bleeds in there I don’t like to touch it anymore. It hurts when I pee…” Sometimes, after his mother hurt him while masturbating him, he wounds himself in the thigh and abdomen with a sharp stick and draws blood, looking at his penis and saying, “Now it hurts here, outside, not in penis. Look, blood. Feels good…” Although he is only three years old, he understands quite well that he is being used as a poison container by his mother to relieve her depression. He says, “Mother twist penis, tight…Hurt inside…Mother angry, hurt Buuktiin’s penis. Mother sad, hurt Buuktiin’s penis…Mother not like Buuktiin’s penis, want to cut off…”

Maternal incest and pederasty by men are quite common in pre-literate groups and were common in earlier historical times. Boys in many New Guinea groups today, for instance, are so traumatized by the early erotic experiences, neglect and assaults on their bodies that they need to prove their masculinity when they grow up and become fierce warriors and cannibals, with a third of them dying in raids and wars. In fact, I have found that rather than the incest taboo being universal – as anthropologists claim – it is incest itself that has been universal for most children in most cultures in most times. A childhood more or less free from adult sexual use is in fact a very late historical achievement, limited to a few fortunate children in a few modern nations. To give you some idea of the extensive evidence I have gathered for such an unlikely conclusion, I would like to begin by summarizing the evidence which exists for the sexual abuse of children around the world today.

THE SEXUAL ABUSE OF CHILDREN TODAY

In America, the most accurate scientific studies, based on lengthy interviews, report that 30 percent of men and 40 percent of women remember having been sexually molested during childhood- – defining “molestation” as acctual genital contact, not just exposure. About half of these are directly incestuous, with the family members, the other half usually being with others, but with the complicity of caretakers in at least 80 percent of the cases. These experiences of seduction are not just pieced together from fragmentary memories, but are remembered in detail, are usually for an extended period of time and have been confirmed by follow-up reliability studies in 83 percent of the cases, so they are unlikely to have been fantasies. The seductions occurred at much earlier ages than had been previously assumed, with 81 percent occurring before puberty and an astonishing 42 percent under age 7.

As high as these molestation rates seem, however, they represent only a portion of the true rates, not only because those interviewed do not include populations that have been shown to have extremely high rates- – such as criminals, prostitutes, juveniles in shelters, psychotics, etc. – but also because only conscious memories were counted, and the earliest seductions of children are almost never remembered except during psychotherapy. Adjusting statistically for what is known about these additional factors, I have concluded that the real sexual abuse rate for America is 60 percent for girls and 45 percent for boys, about half of these directly incestuous.

Other Western nations have made fewer careful studies. A recent Canadian study by Gallup of 2,000 adults has produced incidence rates almost exactly the same as those found in the United States. Latin American family sexual activity – particularly widespread pederasty as part of macho sexuality – is considered even more widespread. In England, a recent BBC “ChildWatch” program asked its female listeners – a large though admittedly biased sample – if they remembered sexual molestation, and, of the 2,530 replies analyzed, 83 percent remembered someone touching their genitals, 62 percent recalling actual intercourse. In Germany, the Institut fur Kindheit has recently concluded a survey asking West Berlin schoolchildren about their sexual experiences, and 80 percent reported having been molested.

Outside the West, the sexual molestation of children is a routine practice in most families. Childhood in India begins, according to observers, with the child being regularly masturbated by the mother, the girl “to make her sleep well,” the boy “to make him manly.” The child sleeps in the family bed, witnesses and most likely takes part in sexual intercourse between the parents. The child is often “borrowed” to sleep with other members of the extended household, leading to the Indian proverb that “For a girl to be a virgin at ten years old, she must have neither brothers nor cousin nor father.” Childhood is so eroticized that, as one Western observer put it, “The little Hindu girls are deflowered by the little boys with whom they play, and repeat together the erotic lessons which their parents have unwittingly taught them on account of the general promiscuity of family life throughout India. In all the little girls of less than ten years of age the complete hymen is wanting…Incest is often the rule rather than the exception.”

Child marriage was, of course, a long-standing Indian practice. When laws were passed in 1929 trying to outlaw it, the government was overwhelmed by men insisting that early marriage was an absolute necessity, since little girls were naturally very sexual and must be married early if they are to be restrained from seducing adults. “Cupid overtakes the hearts of girls…at an early age,” they said. “A girl’s desire for sexual intercourse is eight times greater than that of males.” Indian mothers also often supported early marriage, frankly admitting it was necessary in order to protect their little girls against rape in the family, saying that “they were afraid to leave their daughters at home, even for one afternoon, without a mother’s eye and accessible to the men of the family.”

The Indian subcontinent, in fact, still has many groups, such as the Baiga, where actual incestuous marriage is practiced, between fathers and daughters, between mothers and sons, between siblings and even between grandparents and their grandchildren – thus disproving the oft-repeated anthropological truism that “no known tribe has ever permitted incest” because if it were allowed society would surely cease functioning. In many of these villages, the children move at the age of 5 or 6 from the incestuous activities of the family bed to spend the rest of their childhood in sex dormitories, where they are initiated by older youth and men into intercourse with a succession of other children, none for longer than three days at a time, under threat of gang rape.

Childhood in China has historically had the same institutionalized rape rituals as in India, including the pederasty of boys, child concubinage, the castration of boys to be used sexually as eunuchs, marriage of young girls to a number of brothers, widespread boy and girl prostitution and the regular sexual use of child servants and slaves. So prevalent was the rape of little girls that Western doctors found that, as in India, few girls entering puberty had intact hymens. Even the universal practice of foot binding was for sexual purposes, with a girl undergoing extremely painful crushing of the bones of her feet for years in order that men could make love to her big toe as a fetish, a penis-substitute.

Childhood in contemporary Japan, although somewhat more Western than that of other Eastern nations, still includes masturbation by mothers “to put them to sleep.” Parents often have intercourse with their children in bed with them, and “co-sleeping,” with parents physically embracing the child, often continues until the child is ten or fifteen. One recent Japanese study found daughters sleeping with their fathers over 20 percent of the time after age 16. Recent sex surveys report memories of sexual abuse even higher than comparable American studies, and “hot lines” of sexual abuse report mother-son incest in almost a third of the calls, the mother saying to her teenage son, “It’s not good to do it alone. Your IQ becomes lower. I will help you, ” or “You cannot study if you cannot have sex. You may use my body,” or “I don’t want you to get into trouble with a girl. Have sex with me instead.” Historically, Japan has been one of the most endogamous societies in the world, with incestuous marriages in court circles being approved even in historical times and preferred sibling, cousin, uncle-niece and aunt-nephew marriages having been so extensive that genetics experts have discovered that the incestuous inbreeding has affected the size and health of the Japanese. Even today, there are rural areas in Japan where fathers marry their daughters when the mother has died or is incapacitated, “in accordance with feudal family traditions.”

The sexual use of children in the Near East is as widespread as in the Far East. Historically, all the institutionalized forms of pedophilia which were customary in the Far East are documented extensively for the Near East, including child marriage, child concubinage, temple prostitution of both boys and girls, parent-child marriage (among the Zoroastrians), sibling marriage (quite common among Egyptians), sex slavery, ritualized pederasty and child prostitution. Masturbation in infancy is said to be necessary “to increase the size” of the penis, and older siblings are reported to play with the genitals of babies for hours at a time. Mutual masturbation, fellatio and anal intercourse are also said to be common among children, particularly with the older boys using younger children as sex objects. The nude public baths (hammam) are particularly eroticized in many areas, being especially notorious as a place of homosexual acts, both male and female.

Girls are used incestuously even more often than boys, since females are valued so little. One report found 80 percent of Near Eastern women surveyed recalled having been forced into fellatio between the ages of 3 and 6 by older brothers, cousins, uncles and teachers. The girls rarely complain, since “if there is any punishment to be meted out, it will always end up by being inflicted on her.” Arab women know that their spouses are pedophiles and prefer having sex with children to having sex with them. Their retribution comes as follows. When the girl is about 6 years old, the women of the house grab her, pull her thighs apart and cut off her clitoris and often also her labia with a razor, thus usually ending her ability to feel sexual pleasure forever. One Egyptian woman relates her memory of how it happened to her. After being used sexually by the men in her family during her early childhood, she says:

I was six years old that night when I lay in my bed, warm and peaceful…I felt something move under the blankets, something like a huge hand…another hand was clapped over my mouth to prevent me from screaming.

They carried me to the bathroom…I remember…a rasping metallic sound which reminded me of the butcher when he used to sharpen his knife…My blood was frozen in my veins…my thighs had been pulled wide apart…I felt that the rasping knife or blade was heading straight down towards my throat. Then suddenly the sharp metallic edge seemed to drop between my thighs and there cut off a piece of flesh from my body.

I screamed with pain despite the tight hand held over my mouth, for the pain was not just a pain, it was like a searing flame that went through my whole body. After a few moments, I saw a red pool of blood around my hips.

I did not know what they had cut off from my body, and did not try to find out. I just wept, and called out to my mother for help. But the worst shock of all was when I looked around and found her standing by my side. Yes, it was her, I could not be mistaken, in flesh and blood, right in the midst of these strangers, talking to them and smiling at them.

A recent survey of Egyptian girls and women showed 97 percent of uneducated families and 66 percent of educated families still practiced clitoridectomy. Nor is the practice decreasing – UN reports estimate that more than 74 million females have been mutilated, with “more female children mutilated today than throughout history.”

Clitoridectomy, like all sexual mutilations, is, I believe, an act of incest. If it is incest when a father rapes a daughter, it is also incest when parents assault their children by cutting off, sewing up, burning, flaying or gashing their genitals. In all these cases, the child is being used for the sadistic sexual pleasure of the parent. In fact, circumcision ceremonies are often followed by drinking parties that end in intercourse, so sexually arousing is the circumcision- – in some areas, the traveling circumcizer is actually accompanied by some prostitutes, who know how sexually excited villages become after the ceremony. Therefore, the practice of sexually mutilating children’s genitals- – one of the most widespread rituals in the world – by itself makes incest a near-universal trait.

THE EVOLUTION OF CHILDHOOD

Historically, the routine use of children as poison containers to prevent adults from feeling overwhelmed by their anxieties has also been universal. Examples from the history of childhood regularly reveal children are expected to “absorb” the bad feelings of their caretakers. As one peasant community in rural Greece puts it, you must have children around to put your bad feelings into, especially when the “Bad Hour” comes around. An informant describes the process as follows:

One of the ways for the Bad Hour to occur is when you get angry. When you’re angry a demon gets inside of you. Only if a pure individual passes by, like a child for instance, will the “bad” leave you, for it will fall on the unpolluted.

Newborn infants, in particular, were perfect poison containers because they were so “unpolluted.” The newborn then became so full of the parent’s projections that even if he or she is allowed to live (up to half the children in early societies were murdered at birth), the infant had to be tied up – tightly swaddled in bandages for up to a year or more- – to prevent it from “tearing its ears off, scratching its eyes out, breaking its legs, or touching its genitals,” i.e., to prevent it from acting out the violent and sexual projections of the parents.

Children were particularly useful as poison containers when adults felt anxious about recent or impending success. Success stirs up superego retaliation, and the sacrifice of children to appease the gods – that is, the punitive parents – was an extremely widespread guilt-reducing device. Most early states practiced child sacrifice. Typical was Carthage, where a large cemetery has been discovered called The Tophet filled with over 20,000 urns deposited there between 400 and 200 B.C. The urns contained bones of children sacrificed by their parents, who often would make a vow to kill their next child if the gods would grant them a favor – for instance, if their shipment of goods were to arrive safely in a foreign port. Some urns contain the bones of stillborn babies along with the bones of two-year-olds, indicating that if the promised child was not born alive, an older child had also to be killed to satisfy the promise. The sacrifice was accompanied by a music, wild dancing and riotous orgy, and was probably accompanied by the ritual rape of virgin girls, as it was with the Incans. Plutarch told how the priests would “cut their throats as if they were so many lambs or young birds; meanwhile the mother stood by without a tear or moan [while] the whole area before the statue was filled with a loud noise of flutes and drums…” Sacrifice, rape and genital mutilation of young girls continues to take place today in the Andean mountains, particularly to ward off the guilt coming after successful cocaine deliveries. These ceremonies, from antiquity to today, resemble closely the satanic rituals made familiar recently in the newspapers, using the infliction of rape, sexual mutilation and other horrors in order to visit upon child victims elements of the traumas of the satanists’ own childhood.

That child sacrifice was carried out mainly by the rich in each of these early societies confirms my theory that it is a guilt-reducing technique. Whenever new ventures were begun, children would be sacrificed. Whenever a new building or bridge was built, a child would be buried within it as a “foundation sacrifice.” Children still play at capturing a child and making it part of the bridge in “London Bridge’s Falling Down.” Children’s bodies were particularly useful in curing disease. Whatever one’s physical ills, a child could be used to “absorb” the poison that was responsible. When, for instance, one wanted to be cured of leprosy, one was supposed to kill a child and wash one’s body in its blood. When one wanted to find out if a house whose previous occupants had died of plague was still infected or not, one rented some children to live in it for several weeks to see if they died – rather like the use of canaries in mines to detect poisonous gas. When one was impotent, depressed or had venereal disease, doctors prescribed having intercourse with a child. As late as the end of the nineteenth century, men who were brought into Old Bailey for having raped young girls were let go because “they believed that they were curing themselves of venereal disease.” Raping virgins was particularly effective for impotence and depression; as one medical book put it, “Breaking a maiden’s seal is one of the best antidotes for one’s ills. Cudgeling her unceasingly, until she swoons away, is a might remedy for man’s depression. It cures all impotence.” And, of course, whenever a parent had a disease, they always had their children handy to absorb the poison. Thus British doctors in the nineteenth century regularly found when visiting men who had venereal disease that their children also had the same disease – on their mouths, anuses or genitals.

No matter what anxieties one had, one had children always at hand to use to relieve them. The evolution of childhood from incest to love and from abuse to empathy has been a slow, uneven path, but one whose progressive direction is, I think, unmistakable. This evolution of parent-child relations is, I contend, an independent source of historical change, lying in the ability of successive generations of parents to live through their own childhood traumas a second time and work through their anxieties in a slightly better manner this second time around. It is in this sense that I say that history is like psychotherapy, which also heals through revisiting one’s childhood traumas and reworking earlier anxieties. If the parent – the mother, for most of history – is given even the most minimal support by society, the evolution of childhood progresses, new variations in historical personality are formed, and history begins to move in new, innovative directions.

The crucial relationship in this evolution is the mother-daughter relationship. If little girls are treated particularly badly, they grow up to be mothers who cannot rework their traumas, and history is frozen. For instance, although China was ahead of the West in most ways during the pre-Christian era, it became “frozen” and fell far behind the West in evolutionary social and technological change after it adopted the practice of footbinding girls. Similarly, the cliterodectomy of girls in Moslem societies has inhibited their social development for centuries, since it likewise puts a brake on the ability of the next generation of mothers to make progress in caring for their children. Clearly, different groups have moved different distances up the ladder of psychological evolution, since some contemporary groups still practice brain-eating as our Paleolithic ancestors did, and different subgroups of our more advanced nations still terrorize and abuse their children in ways identical to those that were commonplace centuries ago, producing the “historical fossils” (early “psychoclasses”) we now call borderline personalities and other severe character disorders. Your neighbor is as likely to be a result of medieval parenting as of modern parenting, so modern societies contain a full range of childrearing modes and psychoclasses.

The “generational pressure” for psychological change is not only an independent historical force – originating in inborn adult-child striving for relationship – it occurs independent of social and technological change, and can be found even in periods of economic stagnation. My “psychogenic theory of history” posits that a society’s childrearing practices are not just one item in a list of cultural traits, but – because all other traits must be passeed down from generation to generation through the narrow funnel of childhood – instead makes childrearing the very basis for the transmission and development of all other cultural traits, placing definite limits on what can be achieved in the material spheres of history. The main source of childhood evolution is, I believe, the process I call psychogenesis, by which parents – mainly the mother for most of history – revisit a second time around the stages of childhood and undo to some extent the traumas they themselves endured. It is in this sense that history is like a psychotherapy of the generations, undoing trauma and giving historical personality a chance at a new start with every baby born. Only humans have brain networks that allow this miracle to take place. All cultural changes in the past 100,000 years of Homo sapiens sapiens are epigenetic, not genetic. Regardless of changes in the environment, it is only when changes in childhood occur that epigenetic changes in the brain can occur and societies can begin to progress and move in unpredictable new directions that are more adaptive. That more individuated and loving individuals are ultimately more adaptive is understandable – because they are less under the pressures of infantile traumas and are therefore more rational in reaching their goals. But that this childhood evolution – and therefore all social evolution – is terribly uneven is also understandable, given the varying conditions under which parents all over the world have to conduct their childrearing tasks.

If you had 24 hours to make 10,000 dollars how would you make it?

I can think about a few ways i would make this money.

Unfortunately most of them require unscrupulous methods lol.

This is a good question to ask because if you cant do it in a day you might be able to do it in a months time.

It's all about creativity and persistence.

I would create a company and and create stock certificates right at the library for my business.

Give them all the reasons why they should invest in my company.

Tell them exactly how much they would make and get to 125th and start pushin that shit to the limit.

Now you would think that trying to push that idea to rich white people would give you a better chance of gettin' it.

I think that blacks would be more sympathetic to the cause and they would want to contribute because they see a young brother in a nice suit trying to do the right thing.

Might not work but i think i would get close because there is probably 100,000 people who walk through 125th everyday and i would be all up in their faces.

Anyway, how would you get it.

C'mon now, even if its nasty i want to hear it lol.

Guess What Tiger You Are Still A Nigger!

This is the poster child for why a high profile black man should not have numerous sexual liasions with multiple amounts of white women.

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He's a disgrace to the black race he really is.

He is a prime example of how white images of beauty have so warped and twisted our minds.

Ladies and gentlemen white people enslaved us!

Killed over 100 million afrikans throughout the MAAFA.

White men have raped literally millions of african women.

White women lying on black men, saying they were raped by them, have caused 1000's of black men to be lynched in this country.

When you look at late 19th and early to mid 20th century media images of black people in movies, books and novels you would think that black men were obsessed with raping white women.

Why would any black man (or black woman for that matter) let these demonic people come anywhere near our naked bodies after all they have done to us and continue to do to us?

Granted many of us have been duped into thinking they are attractive but once you really start to read and learn about how they have treated us in this country historically i just dont understand how our people can sleep with them after that point.

Another thing, whenever a white person sleeps with a black person that white person is using them just like an adult who molests a child.

Now sounds like ive gone way to far doesnt it?

Let me explain.

White people know that we are the dumbest people in the universe because we still love them after they have done so much harm to us.

They know that if we were in our right minds we would try to retaliate against them for all of the misery and suffering they put our people through.

So when you see white men and women willingly sleeping with blacks they are playing on our ignorance of our history.

They are taking advantage of us.

I wont go too much more into that because its such a touchy topic but i am just amazed at how pervasive and acceptable interracial marriage is.

Tiger will recover from all of this.

By the way that dude has a voracious sex drive.

I mean wow, 9 TIMES IN ONE NIGHT!

My girl would be lucky if she got 9 minutes out of me lol.

Its really sad but in my opinion he was a dissapointment from the begining.

This fiasco in the news is so damaging to the collective of black men in this country.

Tiger was the Golden Boy.

He was the guy that was looked at as being different from the rest of us.

Now whites believe that no matter how rich and successful we are.

No matter how seemingly moral and good we are.

Our main goal in life is to have sex with as many of their women as possible.

This harks back to the the movie "The Birth of a Nation."

This movie portrayed blacks in a negative light to say the least.

It was about many things but it was mainly about a black man (really a white man in black face) chasing down a helpless white woman and having her eventually commit suicide so she escape being raped by this man.

At the end i think Ku Klux Klan lynched the man and this was the most popular movie in history at the time.

After this movie ran in theaters all over the country the amount of black men lynched sky roketed.

This movie basically reinforced the racist belief that all black men desire to rape white women and take them away from white men.

When you see the majority of our male entertainers marying white women and having all types of perverse sexual liasons with them in pornography and so forth this einforces those old archaic stereotypical beliefs.

We gotta get smart people.

Dr. Leonard Jeffries, a prominent African American historian, said that "history is your power."

If you know history no one can fool you.

Tiger obviously doesnt know anything about his history unless he's a traitor to his race and we have many of those in our race too unfortunately.

This scandal is going to enliven the racists in this society even more then they are now.

I cant believe he didnt sleep with one black woman.

This is harmful in so many ways.

Formulating the plan of action that will lead to success

I know that i am a scatter brain but i dont want to feel like im wasting my time.

I know how to promote a business and i think i should spend time promoting my own instead of promoting somebody else's.

If it doesnt work fine ill go back to old jobs that I had but i think my dream is worth a chance.

When i go back to New York after this research study im doing i am going to pass out flyers for my goods and services on 125th st. just like i used to when i was in union square working for twinkle toes.

Im still young and while you are young you can pursue any type of fantasy you want.

This can be a reality if i want it bad enough.

I think the 3 main traits you have to have when selling anything is, you have to have a passion for what you are selling, you have to constantly keep in touch with the client and you have to give them a solution to whatever problem they have.

You dont have to be nice.

You dont have to be easy to get along with.

The mainthing you have to do is solve their problem.

I have access to knowledge that will definately solve their health problems if they do what the manuals and videos say.

I am bringing a gift to these people's lives by promoting and selling vital information that will release them from the burgeoning clutches of the pharmaceutical and so called "health care" industry.

I was at my family reunion yesterday and it was announced that my uncle died in his early 50's like 2 oclock in the morning on thanksgiving morning.

He had heart surgery like 3 weeks ago and didnt tell anybody.

He died on his job working late at night.

Let me tell you something I AINT GOING OUT LIKE THAT!

If you hear about me dying it's going to be because i got stabbed, shot or ran over by a mack truck.

It damn sure wont be because i died of a disease or illness.

I am not going to let these malevolent, blood sucking, merciless vultures pimp me out with their drugs and surgery.

They are not going to get me or my youngin's and hopefully some New Yorkians will be smart enough to buy the material so they wont get got themselves.

We shall see.

Back in B-More for the Holidays

New York is cool and im going back to live there but im taking some time to be with my family and make some real money this holliday season.

I had to take a time out because things were starting to get way too stressful for me.

The people at the shelter i was in started acting crazy and i knew i had to get out there.

I was working everyday of the week not really making much and i was forced to learn a whole lot in a short period of time.

If i wasnt in a shelter where i had to put up with a whole bunch of ignorant staff members it wouldnt be so bad.

If you can, in your own life, if things are getting way too stressful for you take a time out.

Give your mother or some other responsible adult in your life the kids for a few weeks (with money to take care of them of course).

Ask your job for time off.

If they dont let you take off, QUIT!

Your peace of mind is important.

You have to trust in your ability to succeed.

See the main way i have succeeded in life is when my back was up against the wall.

Im from the inner city slums of Baltimore.

Most of the people who live there are racked with many mental, physical and psychological problems.

It is an excuse but it is a legitamate one.

However you have to overcome your problems.

If you dont then you are useless and you will eventually be a burden to others around you.

The goal is to move yourself from a state of dependency to independency.

Then to move yourself from a state of independency to interdependency (says the guy in the book The Seven Habits of Highlt Effective People).

My boss Mr. Twinkle Toes was giving me a fit there.

He would take out money from my check when i made a mistake but im still training.

Where's the learning curve mutha fucka?!

Ive changed a lot about myself to acclimate myself appropriately to this job and i just couldnt do it at the time with all of the other stresses on me.

So i left and didnt give them any indication of where i was going (thats fucked up aint it lol).

Im not stressed because i know i can get the job back.

One of the guys i met in the shelter Vashti is an Indian Punjabi crackhead lol.

He's the guy that hooked me up with the job actually.

So instead of waiting every week to get paid he would keep going to the boss to get money everyday so he could smoke his crack.

They keep letting the Punjabi crackhead so i know they arent going to say anything to me (at least i hope not lol).

I dont know?

I'll eventually figure out along the way.

What i want to do is become a master herbalist, a massage therapist and a bikram yoga instructor.

You learn the herbology to know what herbs to give to the patient, being a massage therapists you can workout the bones, muscles tendons and ligaments and cure them that way, and if you become an yoga instructor you can teach them moves to increase their circulation to cure them that way.

By the time i hit 30 i am going to be a mutha shut ya mouth.

Trying to learn lifes most important lessons on my own

Its been real hard these last 2 weeks

Ive had many challenges to face and are still facing them

My boss has given me more responsibilities on my job and he has taken me under his wing so to speak

Its hard work but i do believe its worth the fight

Ive changed in so many ways since ive came to new york

I've made many friends and enemies since ive been here

Ive put up with a lot of hardship and struggle since ive been here too.

It's truly been a roller coaster ride.

One thing i do notice about new york is if you have a good idea and stick with it to the end you can make it.

This is what i am trying to do at this yoga place.

There are about 6 guys who work there and i am the only black guy of course and also i think one of the only straight guys there (pablo the maintenance man might be the lone exception).

That's good because i flirt with all of the girls and they have to like it because they get some male attention there.

I may be ugly but hey, if you are the only option, what can you say lol

The owner of the place is an equadorian who used to play in broadway musicals (do i have to tell you what his sexual preference is).

He's gets on me a lot (he gets on everybody really) but he has to run a business so i understand.

He toldme straight up that i had to do something with my hair because i look wild with my big nappy frow, long sideburns and nappy goatee.

I wouldnt have even thought about considering that if he didnt offer to pay for it.

I have braids now and now hopefully i look a little more "approachable" as he puts it.

Im learning alot about how to run a business through this work.

It takes discipline, being honest, and lots of patience.

Hopefully i can grow from this experience and finally put myself on the straight and narrow path to success.

Moving on up in the game

I like new york

especially manhattan

my yoga is getting better after a few more classes and i can see more clearer the goal of becoming a yoga teacher within the next 6 months

the teachers there are cool and they all want me to take their class

its crackers who teach the courses of course with one indian girl

i wish there were some sisters up in there teaching it (even though some sisters do the yoga there surprisingly)

already ive seen a difference in my overall health and vitality since ive been doing bikram yoga

in class you stretch almost every muscle in your body so when you come out of class you are completely open and flexable

it can even help to cure you of diseases by itself because of its healing functions

you should try it where you are

there is a studio in harlem taught by blacks so i might see if i can work there when i get my certification


where i pass out flyers in union square i see celebrities all the time

i've actually hugged terrell owens and told him "dont let the media get you down, man"

i hope he appreciated that

i saw greg anthony (former basketball player from espn), saw a guy from mtv, one of the policeman from the wire

its been quite an experience here so far and we still have a lot more to go

You never know what you're gonna get

I think I might have decided what i want to do in life

Besides being an herbalist i think i have in mind a profesion that i never thought i would be interested in.

Now i want to be a yoga instructor

Sounds crazy right for a brother to be talking like this but i might have finally found my calling

Right now im working for a yoga place passing out flyers for them

The job doesnt pay that much and i spend all day hounding people to take yoga classes but the second hand rewards are priceless.

I actually took a bikram yoga class yesterday.

Me!

The dude from the inner city, crime ridden, drug infested slums of baltimore took a hot yoga class with a whole bunch of yuppies yesterday.

Sounds crazy but i actually like the class.

It challenged me in ways that i have never been challenged before though.

It's intense because in a bikram yoga class the temperature is 105 degrees and you have to do movements for 90 minutes straight.

And you have to do strenuous stretching techniques that close off circulation to certain areas of the body, but when you relax those muscles the highly oxygenated blood pumps back into those veins, capillaries and arteries clearing out toxins and impurities.

It's intense, but i LOVED the challenge.

That was the first time i ever did yoga of any type but it wont be the last.

In about 6 months i can see myself working my way up getting a certification in brikham yoga and teaching classes to make a living.

In addition i will get additional certifications in herbology and that way ill be able to heal the body from a multi-faceted level.

When i get the certification i wanty yall to come up here and take the class for free.

Sunshine, when are you due?

We Live In Brooklyn Now Baby!

Thats right kid.

We live in the brooklyn zoo now baby.

Birthplace of Michael Jordan, Mike Tyson, Jay - Z, Biggie, and a whole host of celebrities and entertainers.

Things are going well.

Im finally doing something i love to do and getting paid for it (not much but that will be changing soon).

I work for a charity group that raises money for victims of homelessness.

I love it because i stand in the middle of manhattan everyday talking about just how bad homeless people are being treated by this wicked government.

And even though the vast majority of New Yorkians ignore the hell out of me, some atually contribute to our organization and show just how powerful the human spirit is.

Im out there 4 to 8 hours a day waxing on about how thousands of people are becoming homeless everyday.

It's like therapy actually.

I get my frustrations off of my back and in return educate the public about conditions that could affect their lives because none of us are immune to loosing our job or place.

Often i get crouds of people hovering around me just so they have can hear the sobering truthful words that i speak.

I have to admit im having a lot of fun.

Yesterday i stoped a guy who was trying to steal this woman's bookbag (that was fun).

I really dont know why he would try to do that because he was very fat and slow (i guess he thought nobody would chase him down).

Im getting my plan together and with the little bit im making i should be into my own place soon.

I should have thought about doing this a long time ago.

Ill keep in touch.

New York is full of so many choices

There are a million ways to make a living here.

And with all the people here its very easy to make money.

All you need is a good idea, a good plan the will to pull it off and the capacity to stick with it even when the going gets tough.

All of us have to find multiple ways of making money in this new economy that are outside of the rhelm of employment.

The problem is i dont like to work lol.

I think its degrading to work all day on a job you hate just to support your creditiors (landlord, banks, gas and electric etc.)

FUCK THE RAT RACE is my philosophy!

Im not a rat so i shouldnt even be in this race to begin with.

I've read many books on how to attain wealth and i have the skills and the mind to be wealthy.

But accumuating money is not the main goal.

The main goal (for me at least) is to "bring the white man's rule of the earth to an end!"

Every problem we have in our community is because of their currupt and vindictive and brutal oppresion.

It might be hidden behind a black face (and this is why so many of us are confused) but ultimately it is the white man that is pulling the strings.

For as long as we have been in this country we have always been systematically targeted and terrorized by the white ruling elite.

The White man only has one goal for all Afrikan people; KEEP THOSE NIGGERS FROM ACCUMULATING ANY WEALTH AND REALZING THAT WE ARE MAKING THEM SUFFeR EVERY SINGLE DAY AND IN EVERY SINGLE WAY.

I am sick and tired of pussy footing around, acting as if everything is peech keen while our people are destroyed every single day.

Over a million men are locked up and over 2 milliona are processed through the criminal justice system every year.

The ruling elite is taking every single dollar they can from the treasury, bankrupting this nation, while the middle, working class and poor are left with the burden.

Why are we not marching downtown to their towering buildings and ripping them to shreds taking our money back from these theives that stole it in the first place?

Dag, where did that come from lol.

I have to go.

New York is definately different!

This city is so fast pace.

Everybody is always rushing to go nowhere.

I have never seen so many people in one area in my whole entire life.

I have to admit it i love it though.

Nobody cares and i do love it.

People dont say hello.

Everybody's always in a rush.

Most New Yorkians are real assholes but i dont care.

I love it!

Im at a shelter now trying to figure out how im going to make a living.

You say "damn a shelter" but you would be surprised to find out who's in one.

There is a guy with a PHD here.

There are many people who have college degrees here.

They were professionals for many years and just got fired on a whim and wound up here.

These are really trying times for some unfortunately.

I dont have that many minutes left on the internet here.

Ill let you know some of the things ive been doing here next time.

moving to the big apple

i decided that i need a change of scenery so i am moving to the big apple.

dont even have a place to lay my head at but ill find some way through the thick and then with the little resources that i have.

see you all on the flip side.

Top 10 R&B Albums Right Off The Dome

10) Jagged Edge - J. E. Heartbreak

9) Groove Theory - Groove Thory

8) Whispers - Greatest Hits

7) Luther Vandross - Busy Body

6) Pm Dawn - Of the Heart, Of the Soul and of the Cross

5) Maxwell - Urban Suite

4) Marvin Gaye - What's Going On/Midnight Love/ Let's Get it On

3) Stevie Wonder - Fulfillingness First Finale

2) Sade - Love is Stronger Than Pride/ Best of Sade

1) Intro - Love Thang (you just have to listen to it, especially the second side)

I want to see your list ( so i can steal some ideas).

No matter how much you try you will never escape the madness of your reality

This brings up another life lesson that blacks need to understand.

Yesterday Stephon Marbury was on his 24 hour internet show he has in his house.

He ranted on for a long time about God knows what.

He put his finger in some vaseline and ate it.

Then he just started crying for a few minutes all of a sudden.

When i heard about his tirade i really felt sorry for the guy.

Then i realized why he acted the way he did and i still felt saoory for him even more.

Marbury used to be one of the best ball players in the league.

He was easily in the top 20 every year in scoring.

His career started to drop slowly and last year he hardly scored two points a game in the playoffs.

Obviously he was feeling a lot of pressure (and the drugs (probably e-pills) didnt help much either).

The lessons i got from this tirade was that money obviously doesnt buy happiness and you need to have a goals you are always striving for.

Rich people get rich and just stop striving for anything because they feel that having lots of money should sufficient.

It's not.

You ever heard the saying that "an idle mind is a devils workshop?"

This is what happens when you dont have over arching long term goals that you are struggling mightily tp achieve.

The mind will turn against itself without a clear purpose.

This happened with Rick James.

This man made so much money in the 80's that he didnt have to make any more money for the rest of his life.

He didnt have any goals so he just said "let's party" and smoked his brain out with drugs and crack.

He died young because his body couldnt handle the constant abuse.

You need long term hard to reach goals or you are going to kill youself.


It's just as simple as that.

Guess What Gates, You Still A Nigga!

The Honorable professor of Afrikan Studies at the esteemed college Harvard University ran into some rough business with a policeman in Cambridge the other day.

He was coming home from China when he inserted his key into the hole and found out he couldnt get it unlocked (he later said that his key had a tendency to jam).

So he went around the back to see if he could get in that way and when he was trying to find an alternative way to get into his place one of his neighbors (who were probably white because he lives in a predominantely white neighborhood) called the cops because they didnt know who he was.

So the white police officer comes to his house after he broke in and asked him to show him ID stating that he was who he said he was.

Gates shows the guy his Masaachusets drivers liscence and his Harvard University ID.

The police officer isnt satisfied so he goes outside and calls Harvard (because Gates could be a con artist).

Gates gets upset and starts saying things like "why are you doing this? is it because im a black man in america?"

LOL!

No its because you a NIGGA!

Anyway, Gates gets so irate that he fusses and fusses until the police officer locks him up and calls it a day.

See Gates thought that he was exceptional because he was a Harvard professor.

He thought that he could get away with slick talking the police (like middle and upper class whites do all the time) and still get away with it.

He was wrong.

I remember seeing a documentary by Gates on the poor and the middle to upper class Blacks and how these 2 classes are so different from one another.

On a certain scene where a black man from the inner city was talking about the plights that he went through in his inner ciity community, Gates said, "this guy seems like an alien to me."

implying that he was nothing like that guy.

Well the white officer treated him as if he was that kind of a guy that night.

And then on another scene of the same documentary Gates says he heas more in common with his white colleagues than with black men in the inner city.

The police officer saw you and the brothers in the inner city as one and the same.

So when are we going to wake up?

No matter whether you slumming in the hood, or living it up in your condo.

Shoping at the local swap meet, or patronizing some high priced italian designer in Palm Beach.

You can be driving a 2009 380 Mercedes Benz or diving a 1981 Hatchback,

YOU STILL A NIGGA, NIGGA!

And eventually you will run into the right cracker who will bring that super inflated ego down to reality.

Peace!

The Last Samurai and the Power of Symbolic Thought

This was a very emotional movie.

I experienced so many different feelings throughout my viewing that i was almost exhasted after it was over.

The movie was about a fictional character named nathan algren who went all around the world helping the united states military invade and conquer different societies (indian nations, asian nations etc.)

In the begining they showed flashbacks of when he and other soldiers shot innocent men, women and children unmercilessly in the back to clear the land for white corporate interest.

I lost it after i saw that emotionally because i couldnt help but think about how our ancestors in afrika were ruthlessly killed by these europeans.

They didnt stand a chance.

The european already had a lot of training conquering different indigenous territories and he knew that wouldnt be able to outlast the military strategy and advanced weaponry that the european had in store for them.

They murdered countless hundreds and thousands of victims slaughtering them as if they were animals.

Cecil Rhodes (a belgian debtor) with his army for the belgian government took over the territory of what is now zambia and zimbabwe.

There were about 30 million people in this area when he got there.

Only a few years later there were only 10 million natives left (and this history is well documented and solid).

Not to mention the wholesale enslavement of our people by the millions.

Never ever ever ever forget the murder and death our people encountered at the hands of these people.

It's time to get your weight up people!

Time's a wasting (with me at least).

We have to start doing the right things in our lives so we can move on to the next level of our development.

I'm 28 years old and i am still struggling from day to day with my finances because im too lazy and complacent to go out there and take the world by the horns and get what i want out of life like i know i can do.

Im tired of being a fuck up.

Im tired of being the black sheep of the family.

I'm tired of being an underachiever.

Im going to get myself together this year.

Im going to achieve a lot this year, i know it.

I am going to make these last 5 months the best 5 month span i ever had.

I am going to take more risks and come out of my shell more and live a little bit more for the rest of the year.

I am going to change my life for the better.

You'll see.

Homosexuality: Genetic or Cultural

There are a lot of homosexuals out here and it seems like more of them are croping up everyday.

I dont have any problems with these people but i dont buy the notion that some of us are born like this.

Many of us were made like this by the culture we grew up in.

I think homosexual acts (especially between men) are disgusting.

But i am interested in learning how these people came to engage in the type of behaviors they engage in with the same sex.

I'm a student of human nature so i cant help it.

One of the sources of information i recommend for people who want to study the nature of homosexuality is Patricia Newton in her lecture "Early Sexual Trauma."

Another good source is Francis Cress Welsing.

Let's talk about why some poeple take on this way of life.

One theory is that many men who were abused sexualy by other men when they were young (before 12) will grow up to become homosexual or bi-sexual (a study was done on this issue by health professionals at the former hosptial Providence in Baltimore in the 1980's) .

Strangely enough for the guys who were molested after 12 it was a different story.

For those who were molested after 12, they somehow stayed straight, but many of them grew up to hate women because they never forgave their mother for allowing this horrible event to take place (they erroneously blame their mother).

Francis Cress Welsing suggests that some men are gay because they are trying to compensate for the male affection they lacked as a child.

Many men grew up without fathers or didnt have strong role models who were there all the time to give us the manly love that we need in order to grow properly.

Men know what im talking about.

I rememebr when i was a child.

Sometimes i wanted a hug from my father, and he gave me one.

Maybe boys need this kind of affection from influential men in their life or they wont grow properly.

So with the gay guys out here, engaging in the sexual activities they engage in may be a way to make up for not getting their hand held by a strong male figure (such as their father) when they were walking down the street.

Or for not getting the hugs, the kisses, the rubs of the head and so forth that they lacked at a young tender age of development.

Im not saying all brothers who didnt have this growing up will be gay.

All Cress Welsing is saying (im not saying anything) is that this might be the case with the very few ones who decided to go down this route.

Another reason could be because they make a profit from that kind of behavior.

In baltimore there are a lot of male whores, and many of them catch the bus and congregate with the regular population.

I was sittin gon a bus stop on north ave. in baltimore and some of these people came inside the bus stop to sit down too (i guess they were tired after all their ho-ing lol).

So i was curious about how much they made so i asked the guy that was in there "excuse me, how much do you typically make during the week."

This dude (who obviously looked like a man) told me that he made anywhere from 700 to 1000 dollars a week (sometimes even more).

I was flabbergasted.

This dude did not look like a woman at all probably one of the ugliest drag queens i have ever seen.

He could have been lying though.

The point im trying to make here is that many males get a profit from having sex with other men.

This goes on all the time in baltimore.

We have to give our brothers other options other than having sex with other men in order to make a decent living.

This was a subject that was on my mind and i wanted to discuss it with you.

Hope i didnt gross too many people out lol.

What do you think?

Build up your knowledge base and they can never fool you.

Knowledge will enable you to see the games that are run on you all throughout your life.

You can see them coming a mile away if you study ahead of time what you are dealing with.

You can beat anybody, it doesnt matter how big or how smart they are, if only you first study them and make appropriate preparations.

Since a young child i always knew the value of knowledge.

I still do but of course its not going to mean anything if you dont apply to whatever goals you have in life.

I was in my first year of college and i was in a history class.

At the time my history teacher was talking about the scramble for afrika (when most western european countries met together back in the late 1890's to decide who would get what country in afrika after they conquered that territory).

He showed a documentary about the time where the european nations were giving their rationalizations for the takeover.

Rudyard Kipling in his book said it was the "White Man's Burden" to civilize the savage afrikans because without them to make us into full fledged human beings we would seep more and more into chaos.

Then they went on to talk about many of the reasons we are supposedly genetically inferior to them.

I was heated.

What made it worse was that i was in a room full of white people (because i went to a predominatly white school).

I felt like i was being stripped of my dignity because i couldnt think of a single event in history prior to our contact with europeans that would negate all of these harsh statements.

I hollered during this lesson,"i aint inferior to NOBODY."

I know i startled a lot of people but i just couldnt take it anymore.

I didnt return that next semester because i knew i had to dig in our past to find some information that would prove all of these suckers wrong (and boy did i find it).

I started reading books about my history that fired up my intellect.

My appetite for the great aspects for our history was insatiable and i was amazed at what i found out about our people.

Suffice it say that that event completely changed my life (and i wouldnt take it back for all the tea in china).

Be curious people.

Never stop learning and never stop growing.

Read this book too up top.

Its a good place to start f you want to get some significant information about our history as a people.

I hope you have a great journey of self discovery.

I know i did.

The Black Middle Class Doesnt Care About Their Less Fortunate Brothers and Sisters

There are a lot of black fakers all over this country (the states) and they are the ones who make it seem as if they are really thinking in the best interest of the people.

Many black people who have a little money and status and who act as if they really want to help their people really arent qualified to lead anybody.

Since the 1950's the Black leadership's thrust has been to appeal to the politicians to solve our problems for us as oppose to finding ways to solve our own problems.

They look to others to do what we can easily do for ourselves (and many of them arent even conscious of it).

Other ethnic groups (including afrikans from the continent) come here and clean up in the states making more money than most black businesses in the inner city.

And they do it because they understand just how good we already have it here.

If you know how to get your hands on a little money you can do pretty well in this country (even in this recession).

But you have to think for yourself.

And another thing.

These black people act as if they care but they keep themselves in gangs and it doesnt matter how much sense another black person makes, if they dont like them for some stupid reason they wot even listen to him.

The ones with a little power reject the ones who can give our people the leadership they so desperately need because of a superficial reason.

Most black people think that the best way to get back at somebody is to completely ignore them.

That may be true, but you may be ignoring someone who can get us to where we need to be at.

They ignore good knowledge and leadership when they see it because they are jealous that someone could be smarter than them or more able to lead than them.

The most intelligent person should always lead no matter whether you like them or not.

We'll revisit this issue one day but in the near future the real leadership of the Afrikan race will rise up and weed these hypocrites from our midst.

You'll see.

What would you do illegally if you knew nothing could happen to you?

That may be a messed up question but this is the way im feeling right now.

I just felt like posting this question because somebody got me so upset that i actually contemplating seriously hurting someone.

I calmed down after a few minutes but if i had a gun, and i knew nothing would happen if i did something lol (i guess that's nothing to laugh about).

I sound like a cereal killer.

That's freaky.

Im the kind of person that represses a lot.

If something bothers me i dont think its right to burden people with my attitude.

So i often suffer in silence.

But the good thing is im learning how to deal with my anger so it doesnt matter how mad i might get i calm down after a minute.

But im also the kind of person that can get as mad as i got about the issue before, no matter how long the incident was ago.

I still think about little things from my childhood that piss me off sometimes.

I dont know that's just dumb.

But anyway, im curious to know what would YOU do if you knew you could get away with it?

Sometimes i wish iwas invisible and my body didnt leave any finger prints so i could go around town robbing banks lol.

I really need some mental help.

Malcolm x: the man, the myth and the race traitor

Provocative title isnt it.

I love malcolm x because he truly made white supremacy simple to understand.

I mean if you look at his youtube videos you will see that he explained an intricate social system so simply that a child could understand it.

He was fearless in his delivery and he didnt hesitate to tell the truth regardless of where it landed him.

He connected not only with national black leaders but with international afrikan leaders (particularly when he took a tour of major afrikan nations).

He had an international message that was directed at creating a pan afrikan political social economic system.

He rose from crime (drug dealing, stealing, burglarizing houses, drinking and druging) went to jail, learned the wisdom of the nation of islam through the teachings of the honorable elijah muhammad, and he turned his life around and a few years out of prison was lecturing at places like harvard, yale and oxford.

He was completely commited to the struggle.

Never cheated on his wife, never picked up drugs or alcohol after he heard muhammad teachings.

So with all these accolaids underneath his belt, why would i ever stoop so low in calling him a race traitor?

Because i believe he let his ego get too out of hand.

See malcolm x was a taurus.

And if there is one thing about a taurus i know is that they love love love attention (almost as much as a leo).

Another thing i know is if you cross them thats your ass.

They will get you back even if it requires hurting you, many close people around them and themselves.

He found out that a man who he thought of as a father, the honorable elijah muhamad, was sleeping with all of these different women, having children by them and not taking care of them so he told the news media of this man's improprieties, damaging the image of the nation to the world.

I call him a race traitor because he didnt care about the fact that this man basically took care of him from the moment he left the prison.

If it wasnt for muhammad, x would have never found knowledge of self and found out who the enemy was.

He wouldnt have met his wife and had his four kids.

He would have never been lecturing at harvard and yale.

The only reason you had a second chance at life is because this man took you under his wing and you basically spit in his face.

Im not saying muhammad wasnt wrong for siring children that he wasnt taking care of but x didnt look at the bigger picture.

Muhammad was providing employment for thousands of black men and women.

He was turning thousands of mens lives around who were in prison and making them whole again.

Because of this mans influence black people were starting to wake up and break themselves from the destructive forces of white supremacy.

And malcolm didnt think about all of these things before he put muhammads dirty laundry out.

People say the men who killed malcolm were in the fbi, the new york police or whatever.

>Maybe but if i was in that organization and this dude discredited my leader i would have wanted to killl him too.

Porn completely kills any chance of you having a normal relationship

Porn hurts you in the long run

It's really bad for you for a number of reasons

I saw this canadian documenatry the other day that blew me away called "not a love story."

I never knew how damaging the images of porn are not only to women but to men as well.

Men who consume massive amounts of hardcore porn have so many problems in the bedroom.

Some arent able to climax without ejaculating on a woman's face or in her mouth.

Some men keep going deeper and deeper into the hardcore bin until they want to see women tortured and hurt (like in these snuff movies that are out).

Some men only think of women as sexual objects and cant possibly see women as full fledged human beings.

The massive influx of porn has also been used for political reasons from its inception.

Under Hitler Germany, before they invaded Poland they flooded the country with pornography because it bifurcated the population from each other.

What do i mean?

While the polish men were in their rooms, getting their thing off, they wernt prepared for the invasion that was about to happen.

It seperates the population from each other so they wont stand up and unite themselves against their enemies (this is the main reason why hardcore porn has run amuck in the states).

This stuff is killing people.

It is literally turning unsuspecting, innocent men and children into satanic monsters everyday.

It is killing the humanity of men everyday.

And since women follow anything a man says follow to please the man, they often emulate the self degrading activities that are so pervasive in porn.

Many of these acts are degrading, perverse and down right disgusting.

I think most men who buy and consume porn have been emasculated by this society and of course in porn women are completely subordinate to men.

So they can act out their secret fantasies of dominating women whenever they consume these images.

Its a mess.

What are we going to do to turn this society around?

Everything about this society is so dehumanizing.

It totally strips us of any endearing human qualities.

From the violence that is pervasive on televison and in movies.

To the dangerous images that are ubiquitous in music videos and porn.

We really need to collectively appologive to our children for all that we've done to them.

We have robbed them of their innocence before they are even born.

We need to ask ourselves, "what kind of human being am i really?"

Nobody gives a shit about a black man and it is enough to make you cry

Black men in the states and black men im sure all over the world have it bad because everybody wishes they could be us and they are jealous of our natural God given talents.

We have in the united states a prison system that is designed to incarcerate the fuck out of black males for petty petty petty bullshit (im sorry about the profanity).

I just found out that there are about 1.5 million black men who are being processed through the criminal justice every single year.

And you know what i just found out, roughly half of the black men are being processed not for assult charges, not for rape, not for murder or robbery or any other big time crime.

Get this shit right here.

They are being processed detained and given sentences, having their right systematically taken away (and their jobs taken away) because of petty majijuana possessions.

You get that.

1.5 million black men are processed through the jails of this country every year and half 750,000 black men are detained in jail (the worst place in the world) for marijuana possesions.

And yet people actually think this is the greatest country on earth.

Not for a black man it isnt

About 60% or more of all black men living grew up without their fathers living with them.

We are most likely to be profiled (have a car puled over for routine checks by the police).

All whites and others are scared of us.

If they see 3 black men walking down the street, they could have suits on and people will still be scared.

In the media we are constantly portrayed as thugs and criminals.

The first story on the 6oclock news almost every night is a brother killin another brother.

Now black women outnumber black men in actual employment numbers.

There are over 900,000 black men in the job market then there are black men.

Therer are over 1 million men in jail (more men in jail then there are in college).

There is a 50% unemployment rate amongst black men around this country (this means 1 out of 2 black men who are looking for a job will not get the job because of employer bias).

And for the ones who get the job they have routinely degrade themselves and give up their dignity to a white employer in order to break the evil stereotypes about black men that are constantly portrayed in the media.

And now the whole public school system of this nation is trying to label every black male in the schools special ed (because they dont understand them or their culture).

And now again the white devils who own the prisons all over this nation (and who get paid by the state for every convict they bring in) are now looking for places to put their jails based on the amount of black males who are labeled special ed.

They are doing this because the malse who are labeled special ed in the schools are more likely to go jail then other males.

So if they study how many males are being slapped with the label special ed while they are young they can basically track how many convicts they will have to fill their prisons ahead of time.

Its like a farmer planting a seed knowing that when that seed grows they can harvest that crop.

If that doesnt tell you how bad it is for a black man in america i dont know what will.

And they have to walk around with that stigma of special ed all the time.

People degrading them and humiliating them (of the 5 million children who are labeled special ed in the schools over 80% are males)

And the schools get grant money from the state and the government the more children they label mentally disabled.

it's ashame.

but these problems are not going to last for long.

We will reclaim our communities as a people.

We will save our brothrs and our children.

We will self sufficient in this new world because we have the money and power to do it.

All it takes is courage and imagination.

Will you join me in the fight?

This Swine Flu Scare Is Swine Shit

Here in the united states the local and national media are scaring the hell out of people telling them all about how this mysterious swine flu virus is sweeping over the country infecting people at a high rate.

Im glad the local news hasnt been starting off with the average story, a brother shooting another brother, but this is not an acceptable alternative.

They showed pictures of kids on college campuses with the dust masks on their faces.

They showed a local catholic church where now they cant even shake hands because of the fear of spreading the virus.

So now all they do is bow to each other.

That is retarted im sorry, and besides that is not going to prevent you from getting the disease anyway if your immune system isn’t in tip top form.

Diseases, toxins, bacteria, viruses are constantly flowing through the air and we are constantly suceptable to them.

Right now the airborne form of aids, herpes, ebola (maybe not ebola) and guess what SWINE FLU are now being circulated through your lungs and body through the air you are breathing right now.

The only reason these external pathogens don’t start munching on your T cells and breaking down your immune system is because you don’t have enough in your body or it hasn’t been triggered through other high risk experiences.

That’s getting a little off the subject but I am an herbalist and sometimes I have to impart good information.

Anyway I don’t know where this mysterious virus came from and I really don’t care because we are going to encounter a so called killer virus throughout our life e it us or family so I might as well give you the cure to all viruses big and small.

Its plague tonic.

I learned this formula from the Master Herbalist Dr. Richard Schulze who has healed literally thousands of people of life threatening diseases with his prescriptions.

I have a batch of this tonic at my house and I will tell you one thing I know for certain.

If you have a cold or a minor flu, you will be cured of this illness within at least an hour if you take 20 to 40 small spoonfuls of this formula.

If you take 20 to 40 spoonfuls a day for the rest of your life you will never be sick, and if by chance you do get sick it will only be temporary.

Always know that there is a solution to every problem that you have in life.

You don’t have to accept inferior conditions.

Within that big beautiful brain that god gave you lies the answer to every question ever known to man.

Don’t be scared by this garbage and the media scaring people to death with this propaganda.

Think for yourself for god’s sakes.

Now go out there and make this stuff.

I just realize I didn’t tell you how to make it.

You have no idea how fortunate you are.

Ingrdediants

Garlic

Ginger

Cayenne Peppers (the hottest you can find)

Onion

Horseradish Root (this is not as hard to get as it might seem)

and top all of it off with some Apple Cider Vinnegar

put all of the contents in a blender until it’s chunky

take it out put in a glass jar and it will last forever (the vinegar purifies it)


there you have it

good stuff

The main reason why the black man is still subordinate to the white man.

Many black people fail to see the reality of the state we are in as a people.

ive mentioned this many times before and i will mention it again now, the main reason why the black man has no power in this world is because we keep looking for whites to solve the problems for us that we should be solving for ourselves.

we depend on white men to give us everything and you are not being honest with yourself if you dont look at this fact objectively no matter how ugly it is.

We depend on the majority white police to protect us from thugs and crooks.

we depend on the white owned hospitals and insurance companies to provide us with medical care when we get sick.

We depend on white and other ethnic merchants to supply us with food and other goods that we can manufacture ourselves.

We depend on the handouts and goodwill of others to sustain our very lives and we have some people put here talking about they are independent.

the worst thing you can do is lie to yourself.

this si the black mans fault.

we should not have let another group of people enslave us and take away our cultural and historical memory.

we were the first ones to build buildings out of stone and steel.

we were the first teachers, researchers, scientists and experimenters.

we were the first managers of human and non human resouces.

think about how much time, effort and orgainzation it took for us to create the pyramids.

think about the thousands of men who needed materials, skills training, food, uniforms; all of these resources were created, built and generated by afrikan people without any european or asian to dictate to us what needed to be done.

why are we letting our children (whites, asians and others) tell us how to do things that we have already long before they were born.

in order for black men to reclaim our communities from the ravenous, blood sucking vampires who now own and control them we have to realise that we came from a history where we already owned our own and did a better job of managing our resources than any other people on this earth.

thats like letting a handicapped person beat you in the 100 yard meter dash when you are a world class sprinter.

thats like letting somebody who is retarted beat you in math

thats like letting a high school junior varsity football team beat you when you just won the superbowl.

are you getting the picture people?

Sometimes its hard to get over someone you once jhad deep feelings for

Sometimes i can be a little clingy to people.

I dont know why that is.

For instance, i was with someone and things didnt work out.

Now the person doesnt want to talk to me but in the relationship both of us did things that we shouldnt have done.

Am i wrong for still trying to maintain contact with this person.

She doesnt want to speak to me at all.

I just dont understand.

I guess thats how people are sometimes.

Once they are done with you they just throw you away like a piece of trash or something.

Well if people so easily loose contact with you after things didnt go as planned, i think the question should be asked: did hey ever like you.

See we use people all the time.

The people who do something for you and say its from the heart i believe are the sneakiest of them all.

I just dont think that someone would do something for somebody they didnt like.

If you do something for someone that must mean that you want something back from them.

A lot of people lie to themselves im just trying to be honest with myself.

All people give to get something in return.

Maybe i'm wrong.

Who knows.

My Tribute to the great afrikan asafo (warrior scholar) Dr. Amos Wilson

There aren't too many intellectuals who can stir your spirits like amos wilson.

Born in 1941 on february 23rd this man dedicated his life to analyzing our condition as afrikan people all around the world and most importantly coming up with solutions on how we can get out of the mess that we are in as a people.

This man wrote numerous books such as The Developmental Psychology of the Black Child (scientifically proving that afrikan people evolve physically and psycho-motorly in advance of any other people.
They walk first, talk first, think first, comprehend first before any other babies on this earth.)

He wrote Black on Black Violence: The Psycho Dynamics of Black Self Annihilation In Service of White Domination basically saying that black people are hurting and killing each other in the interests of the white supremacists who rule his world.

His greatest achievement was his 856 page masterpiece Blueprint For Black Power basically stating how afrikan people can gain economic control of their communities and nations.

He owned a printing and publishing business on 125th street in harlem, new york city from the late 80's to the mid 90's.

He put all of the money he made off of his books, lectures, and teaching salary back into the business.

He was completely commited to his mission even to the point where he would use cardbord to fill in his shoes because he would put every cent he had back into the movement.

Sometimes he would do lectures and the hosts would promise him money at the end but wouldnt give it to him.

He didnt put up a fuss he just said "brother that alright, i understand" and kept going about the business of learning information that would help us to advance as a people.

He was an afro-centric psychologist who spoke on a number of different issues such as econmics, criminology, sociology, history, physics, political science, military science, male female relationships: you name it he had a great opinion on the topic.

Ive read most if not all of his books and listened to countless speeches he gave and i will tell you that he ranks up there intellectually with the likes of a martin luther king jr., malcolm x, w.e.b. dubois, martin delaney, edward wilmont blydon, kwame nkrumah, cheikh anta diop or any other afrikan scholar.

I liked him because he was not afraid to talk about what black men truly had to do to rid ourselves of the rule of white men.

He didnt hold anything back in terms of his criticism of the improprities of this government or any other currupt nation on this earth.

he was a real example of black manhood if there ever was one and he truly with all his heart loved, loved, loved afrikan people.

You will never read about him in an afrikan amerikan history textbook because he didnt sell out for anybody.

You will never see his picture posted at a black history event because negro intellectuals hated him because he was TRULY committed to the struggle.

He was not afraid at all to harshly criticize white supremacy and its effect on black folk not only in this country but in the whole world.

He spent many sleepless nights traveling all around the country because so many poeple wanted him to speak at their school.

He died on january 15th 1995 from a heart attack because he worked so hard to serve his own.

When a friend asked him "amos, why do you work so hard man why dont you slow down," amos just looked at him and said "this is the only thing i know how to do."

He loved us and this man died in obscurity while people like al sharpton, cornel west, micheal eric dyson (who are bought and paid for) get more press than they know what to do with.

learn about this man through his works.

They have lots of his stuff on youtube.

You will not find an intellectual that cared more about building a nation for black folks than amos wilson.

He should be a saint and in my mind he is one.

I owe you so much amos.

You showed me what real afrikan manhood looks like.

I'll always cherish your memory.

Thank you for your contribution to my life.