Who's causing more problems: men or women?

i hate to start it off like this but my homegurl ebonne has the whole week dedicated to relationships so she asked me to do a collaboration with her to see if we could skool some people

you can get her version here to see her comments.

it's my birthday too yall

yup turned 27 and i feel like kat williams in the pimp chronicles when he was imitating white people by saying "tonight, we're gonna get f#*ked up" lol

but any who, here's the post and give some honest feedback please

it would be very much appreciated

my writing is in blue, her's is in lilac (pink for the guys lol)

Who's causing more problems in the relationship men or women

The question is really irrelevant because it doesn't matter. Just phrased it like this because so many of us are used to playing the blame game. If I had to say who was mostly to blame I would have to say the men are. Why? It's the men's fault because we don't know our roles as men. The man's responsibility is to protect and provide for, not only his wife and children, but his community, ethnic group and nation. No healthy group of men ever see the end point of their lives as working for another group of men and leaving the responsibility for providing food, clothes, shelter and jobs in the hands of those other men. It's no wonder black women have so much contempt for black men, because like E said on my independent women post, "Seriously, ya'll always whining about the independent woman... if ya'll stepped ya'll game up and was taking care of business we wouldn't have to be so damn independent!"

She is absolutely correct. But in order to hold somebody accountable they have to know right from wrong. This is why I believe that it's really not the black man's fault. He was never taught this. The responsibility does fall on the ones (like me and the black men who are reading this now, sorry lol) who are conscious of this fact. And the ones who are conscious of this fact have been doing a terrible job for the most part (like me).Also, you have to look at who benefits from us being divided (black men from black women). The best way to get a people to serve you is to make them dependent on you. Another way to keep people dependent on you is to break the self confidence of the ones who are strong enough to go against you, the men of the group. You do this by cutting off their examples of real manhood, and by giving them a false image of what manhood really is. Tell him that being unable to resist sleeping with a woman is the essence of manhood. Tell him anything that doesn't require him being the sole providers and protectors of his women and children.

Can we really do this though TUBS? When we approach men about these issues aren't we looked at as the Angry Bitter Black B*tch? Yes, we most certainly do. But I think it can be done if the ladies realize that its all about the approach. We need to bring back the stabilization of sitting down and having meaningful conversation with men. To leave the situation alone when we feel everything that comes out of our mouth will be loud and abrasive. Remove ourselves from the situation until we can talk about it in a calm matter, because as soon as we start to yell or scold is when men tune us out.Our education is controlled by another group of men.

If you had a business and you hired someone, would you train them to be equal to you and start a business like you so that they could be your competition? Uhhhh no, lol. You are gonna train them to serve you. You might give them a nice pay for doing a good job in what you created, but you are not going to train them to be equal to you. And some of us believe that other people have our best interest in mind. Some do, but most don't.

In closing, if the black man and the black woman really loved each other and got along the way that we should, then no other group or race would be able to use us and exploit us the way they do now.But it shows how smart we really are as a people.

Every other ethnic group in the world feeds off of our ignorance but yet we still love each other the best way we can. We still have the desire to be with each other, so they haven't been doing a good job of keeping us divided.

Is the desire to be with each other really still there? You would think that with the percentage of interracial marriages where the black man is the African American counterpart in the relationship that black men may have the desire but aren't up for putting in the work. Let's discuss further. I agree with TUBS that the men are more at fault. They have stepped down from the traditional role of being the head of the household.

Let's talk about it...

stop settling for less in your relationships. you have the power to change your partner for the better. if you have an open mind don't be afraid to click here to learn more.