ORAL SEX DEBATE!

Disclaimer : Sexual contents are below and not suitable for those under the age of 18.

EB: I'm about to put myself out here on this one... Yup Eb is going to go ahead and tell all her biz. But I got questions, and we're all grown folks here... so let's talk about it.

First of all, a lot of people still can't believe that their are black men that don't eat p*ssy and black women that don't give head. I for one can because I have dealt with a man who didn't and I have a complex about giving head.

So here goes, I lost my virginity in high school, but always promised myself that I would never give head until I was married. Thought that was the least of gifts I could give to the man I would be with for the rest of my life since I wasn't a virgin, but he would know that he was the only man that I have ever pleasured in that way. Seems like good logic right? Maybe?

Anyway, in college I met the guy I thought I was going to marry. I was so headover heels for this undeserving guy it was sickening. He cheated constantly and I thought it was because I wasn't giving head. Like the saying goes "if you don't do it, he will find someone that will."

Senior Year in college, I finally indulged in the forbidden territory with this dude. In the 2 years after that we were off an on so I think I only did it once or twice more.

The complex comes in me doing it for someone that wasn't worthy may be the psychology behind the reason that I now I will only do it for a dude I love. Everyone always says after you've done it once it should be nothing to do it often. I ain't trying to hear that. I think its not something you do for every Tom, Dick, Harry, or Jumpoff. With this thinking am I putting "giving head" on a pedestal? Is it not that big of a deal? What is the man's perception of a female who does it that they are not in a monogamous relationship with? How soon is too soon to go there with a man, and when have you waited too long? Is this the reason why our brothers are going to other races because they have a more nonchalant attitude about giving head?

Also the bonus questions... What constitutes giving good head? How do you as men like it to be done? I ask this because someone that is inexperience in this department wants to know. I remember I was drunk one night and did it for the guy above and the next morning he had a complete attitude with me. I don't know what I did the night before, because I couldn't remember (yeah I was that drunk) but he wanted to know who the hell I had been practicing on, so I guess it was good to him. So back to the questions that started this little paragraph... answers men...Also for the men that don't eat p*ssy, explain why? Or if you do explain why their might be a complex about doing it from the male perspective.

TUBS Response

Why don't some men and women give head?

Because not everybody washes their ass right lol. And some people actually have enough self-respect not to do it. And some people don't like it done to them. If you know what you doing then me likey. If you don't, make it wet and we'll go from there.

Seems like logic right?

Good logic and very thoughtful too. Men are not going to have respect for you if you give it up too easy.

That guy must have been a stud. And you probably just wanted him so you can look good to others and make the women hate you lol.

He didn't cheat because you didn't give him head though.

He cheated for a number of reasons that I'll talk about in my audiobook: Getting Over The Drama: A Black Man Who Knows Something Answers 10 Critical Questions About Our Relationships (sorry for the shameless self promotion lol)

EB: DEFINITELY A SHAMELESS PLUG, BUT ITS ALL GOOD TUBS

I am positive he felt bad about it every time he did it. Didn't want to feel that way so he tried to justify it by cheating some more

Am I putting giving head on a pedastool?

Yes! And it deserves to be there, because if you don't show self respect people will walk all over you. And you always show self respect by doing what's right, as opposed to doing what feels good or makes you look good. Men don't show self respect when they sleep around. They catch feelings for one of the women they slept with and now they are wondering why she won't return his calls or want to be with him.

What is the man's perception of a female who does it that they are not in a monogamous relationship with?

That she's easy and she doesn't deserve respect because she doesn't respect herself. But, that goes for the guys too. Women will NOT respect you, they might want that d#*k, but that's not respect. A black man is more than just a breeding animal. He has feelings, thoughts, passions, wishes, purposes, likes, dislikes and desires just like anybody else. And all of these things will not be respected if he gives it up too easy.

How soon is too soon to go there with a man, and when have you waited too long?

Yo no se about this e, it depends on the nature of the relationship and how much you know on the issue of relationships (in my humble opinion (dappa)). You should wait till you've been together a long time (ideally). Now you can always say the right things and DO the right things to get that person to respect you more in the future after you did it (check in the audiobook).

However, when you know for a fact that you 2 are in LOVE and not infatuation then you can do it. But not too many times because men and women want head for different reasons that don't always relate to sex. Sometimes it's about domination and control. Sometimes it's about something else

Is this the reason why our brothers are going to other races because they have a more nonchalant attitude about giving head?

There are many reasons for this as well e. Men, just like women, tend to want what is easy until it becomes too easy. They might have that white women but more than likely they are cheating on her with black women (unless they are afraid of black women). Things are getting too long so I'll just say this. The main reason black men want white women is because they have always seen the white woman as a symbol of beauty ever since they was young. Some guys act on this belief. Some don't.

What constitutes giving good head? How do you as men like it to be done?

Technique is what's important. I've read some material on this and one book said that the most sensitive part of man's penis is where he was circumcised. So if you suck around the cusp of the penis then you'll really get him going. I like the tipping lol (whatever they call it) where the woman sucks on the tip of the penis girating her tongue back and forth through the slit with the whole head in her while she strokes the shaft. That's definitely a good way lol.

Also for the men that don't eat p*ssy, explain why? Or if you do explain why their might be a complex about doing it from the male perspective.

I've been eating pu#*y for a looooooong time so it's nothing for me. I'll generally do it the first time (which might explain why I haven't had much success with women) if she smells like sanitation (like biggy says) because I don't feel good unless I give a woman an orgasm. Now some it might take a little extra time for. But for most it won't.

Now for the guys who don't do it, I have no idea lol. This will be pure speculation. I assume they think it's nasty or they just believe that they are the s*#t and don't think that they have to do it or they are waiting for the right one to do it for themselves.

Oral Sex or Not!

This is a highly debated issue. I think we should look at its purpose.

What is the purpose?

I don't know lol. I guess it's to stimulate the person sexually so that an orgasm is possible.

Is oral sex good?

It sure feels good lol.

What are the benefits of oral sex?

It helps us to show our sexual partner that we are willing to go the extra mile to please themIt can help us to get perks in the relationship if the person knows how to do it right lol

What are some of the detriments of oral sex?

You could catch an STD, throat cancer whatever (even though there are cures for these diseases).

It could be used as a form of degradation and domination (people can convince their partner to perform these acts as a means of degrading them and feeding their own ego).

Where did we learn to perform these acts?

We learned from people in our lives

We learned from watching pornography (which is about degrading women through sex).

Does oral sex enhance the sexual experience?

YES! Lol

So should we do it?

In my opinion, it's OK as long as it is done mutually by both partners and not a form of domination or ego stroking.I also believe it's OK as long as proper sanitation procedures are taken lol and as long as you know the cure to ALL of the things that you might catch as a result of doing it.

So let's discuss blog world... Did TUBS give me good answers to my questions?

Do you agree or disagree, and what's your apprehensions about oral sex?

stop settling for less in your relationships. you have the power to change your partner for the better. if you have an open mind don't be afraid to click here to learn more.