Interesting question. Many people say that most women are always ready to settle down. Not the ones that i've talked to lol. Most believe this but actually it's the men that are more willing to marry quicker than the women in this day and age because he needs someone to come home to so he can worry about other things in his life like being more productive in his career and achieving his other goals in life (or having someone to build and grow with). In this day and age the Black woman has a rough time finding a good partner because many black men are unemployed or underemployed, (many white men are too by the way) so he can't adeuately take care of his woman and child, or if they have any money at all they might not have any morals or kindness at all. But the black women's downfall is her low expectations and her unwilingness to hold back her scolding tongue sometimes. John Henrik Clarke, the late great historian and cultural critic said, her sharp tongue has driven more men from the home then poverty. Most women don't know that's it's easier to catch fly's with honey than with vinegar (my grandmother used to say).
But anyway, would YOU be willing to marry someone after only knowing them for a short period of time if you thought that your union could REALLY work?
Holla!!!!!!!!!!!!
16 comments:
hell no. lol. i hardly see myself married in the first place. so thats a definite no. i do plan on gettin married in vegas though...
i would.
i think it's romantic.
i mean, you should know someone before you get married, but i don't think it's impossible to know someone after a short period of time.
hey tub, it is awfully easy to meet someone and connect instantly, fall in love and want to spend the rest of your life with that someone...yes, i would totally get hitched to someone i hav just known a couple o months
@my little puddin pop...
ahh come on
why not be a hopeless romantic
don't you believe that dreams can come true
that love is real and that it can happen to you
i know you are hating me right at this moment lol
@muzeily muzed... i think it's possible to know someone after only one night
human beings are generally alike
we all need air, water, sex and to feel important
if you start from this premise we really aren't that hard to understand
you might need more than this though lol
@hey poppy... i believe that it's nothing wrong with that
ironically with all of the amenities and luxuries of good help and stability we have in the states
people are still so unhappy and miserable
and can't find a suitable mate to save their lives
go figure
Hey James,
No I would not marry someone after only knowing him for a short while. While I may feel that I really know him I don't think I would have enough time to see him in all of the situations that I need to see him in to know if we are a match. For example....I need to see him interact with his family,friends, kids, animals, I need to see him angry, sad, happy etc. Is he industrious?.. you get the point..lol
This is similar to the most recent topic posted on http://justwonderingaboutthis.blogspot.com/ maybe you two should communicate :-).
Product Junkie Diva
that is a great way to really get to know the person
seeing him in different environwments
and there have been couples that have married each other without knowing each other for a long period of time
and have had sucess
if we could interview many of the sucessful ones who got into a quick without hardly knowing each other then maybe we can find the formula
Hi James,
Product Junkie Diva (PJD) tipped me off about your post which is similar to the one I have on my blog...lol So here's my two cents about marriage after a short period of time.
I personally don't think that people truly know what it means to get married anymore. It's a lot of work!!! I think some people jump into it rather quickly and it also helps that if it doesn't work out you can always sign some divorce papers and move onto the next. There's a 50/50 chance of it working out so there has to be something missing right? Why is it such a gamble?
So with that said I agree with PJD in terms of getting to know the person and seeing them in different situations. I need time to not only develop a relationship with the person but to learn to communicate effectively. Without that I can't express my feelings of love, emotions, anger etc. So as much as I'd like to be a hopeless romantic and marry the Hottie I met at the book store (awesome convos, and OH the chemistry is AMAZING) Can 6 months tell me if he can encouarge me to reach my future goals, comfort me as I stand watching my mom/dad being lowered into a grave, or just knowing what to do when I feel dissappointment...I'd want him to check me out on these things also. Figure out if he'd want to spend life with someone like me.
You can't know everything before you get married, but I'm hoping maybe, just maybe, some situations come up to show me if I can call that special person my husband and he call me his wife. So I'd say bring on the drama cause when you go through trials you really get to know someone!
WOW I wrote a book!
PS:I'd like to interview couples who made it after 6mos... Great idea....Sadly many of the married couples I know are unhappy.
Dang Just Wondering, you're blogging on James' blog..lol I like your points thought.
Product Junkie Diva
What's your defination of short? 2 weeks? 3 months? 24 hours? I guess that didn't work for Britney Spears one time.
But it all depends. I heard of a couple who knew they were going to get married just after 3 days of meeting each other and they are still married till today. A few days ago, I met a lady whuz dated her man for 11 years and still not married to him.
Can I marry someone who I've just known for a short period of time? Maybe yes, maybe no. it all depends...
Can you?
Well the bible did say "when a man find a wife he finds a good thing." So if a man ask a woman to marry him in a short time period he may see something in her she don't see in herself. Overall I think its sweet, and there are some marriages that have lasted 50 or more years after only knowing each other for a short period of time. So it could happen and work.
@just wondering... welcome dear
you definately had something significant to add to the conversation and i hope i give you a worthy response
human beings are motivated by 3 things
greed, pleasure and fear
if you appeal to one or more of these motivators in the one that you're with, you will have a good chance of influencing them to stay with you forever
but always remember that you also have to get you needs met too
if not by them then by some other source
@EJ... thanks for asking me
yes i could
if the chemistry was there and she did many of the right things to get me hooked then i definately could
but she has to do the right things in order for me to want to do the right things for her
@i see my fantasy in your eyes...
sorry about the title lol
a woman can only be a good woman if she knows how to treat a man
this is something that i've mentioned many times in other posts
people will take you for granted if you are always there for them
this is a rule of human nature
i did not create this rule
no!
i have to know them for a while..u know pple change. they can pretend to be nice and all u want but the longer u know them, u'll begin to see the real person. i f u get married real quick and discover bad traits in them, you are stuck and i dont believe in divorce so i have to be really careful abt this.
I could possibly consider it. Just depends on the situation.
Hey you, how are you? *smile* Thanks for visiting me while I've been M.I.A. Love to hear from you again soon. :-)
probably not... I can see myself saying yes if they proposed and I felt that strongly about them... but I think I would probably be engaged for a while until I was really sure. For me I want to make sure that this person is not the person of right now but the person that is forever.
supa dupa sexy... I can understand that lol
I don't believe in0divorce too
but I do believe that people can change
I've seen it in my own experiences with people
but you have to do the right things
there are plenty of bookshops and workshops on how to maintain a sucessful relationship
there is no reason in the world why anybodys relationship should be messed up (but mine is though lol)
the goddess of poetry... I knew you would be back lol
I was just anxiously anticipating your return
keep in touch hun
e... how do you tell the difference
do you go by your heart and by the fact that he makes you feel good
or are you practical, makes good money, has good relationships with his mother etc.
No, I have to know the person awhile before I could ever make such a committment.
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